Michael and Dwight: SexyBack

The Daily Show investigates Snakes on a Plane

Daily Show and "SOAP"

Snakes on a Plane

Really Could This Be True??

Funny Article I read today:

REVEALED! Whitney's Solo Concert for Osama--1985
READ MORE: 9/11, Iraq

All of our current difficulties in the world could have been prevented. We would not be in Iraq. 9/11 would never have happened. We would be at peace around the world, had it not been for one 1985 incident that I have now been authorized to reveal.

The location was a remote palace in Yemen.
The principals were Osama Bin Laden and Whitney Houston. No one knew that the fate of the planet would turn on the events that night, but indeed that was the case.

As the New York Post has reported, "Kola Boof, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden's sex slave, writes in her autobiography, 'Diary of a Lost Girl,' which is excerpted in the September Harper's: 'He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.'"

But Boof (pronounced "Booth" in Sudanese) did not know about the clandestine solo concert Bin Laden ordered performed for him by Houston in 1985. Bin Laden's people contacted her personally, bypassing her agent, telling her that he wanted to hear her sing a capella, for his ears only, in exchange for $1 million in cash, all in untraceable bills.

When she asked why, she was told Bin Laden admired her beauty and her voice and craved a one-on-one concert. She asked if he expected sexual favors and was told that no, he had great respect for her.

She agreed and was handed a brief case containing the money. The next day she was picked up by his representatives and driven to a private airport in a huge limo where a private jet was waiting. Houston found it filled with lavish gifts of jewelry, perfumes, food and clothing. She was shocked to find all of the clothing fit her perfectly. When she asked why that was, the servant told her that Osama had done his homework.
When she arrived at the palace she was pampered and massaged and spent the night alone in a suite the size of her entire Hollywood mansion. She was told her meeting with Osama was to take place early that evening.
According to the New York Post story, Boof reported that, "He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

She was introduced to several of his children during the day. They did not know who she was because he did not allow Western music to be played in the palace.

Finally the time came for their meeting. She walked into a vast marble room, the floor covered with Persian rugs, finding him sitting in a large wooden throne-like chair. The first words out of his mouth were compliments to her beauty. She smiled. He smiled and told her how truly Islamic he thought she was, something he also told Boof, according to the New York Post. The comment confused her, but she complimented him on his children, saying, "I believe the children are our are future. Teach them well and let them lead the way."

He was pleased to hear that, and told her she must be very wise. She added, "You should make sure you show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be."

He said, "Will you sing for me now?"

She sang several songs. Osama was visibly moved, and also visibly sexually excited. This was confirmed by Boof when she wrote, "'In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. 'African women are only good for a man's lower pleasures,''" she quoted him as saying.

He was so excited that he proposed marriage to her on the spot. She asked, "But where is the mother of the children I met today?"

He replied that, according to Islamic custom, he had several wives and many children. "Did you think I was saving all my love for you?"

She stood up in front of him and boldly said, "I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe. No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity."

He told her she had been brainwashed by American culture, a statement confirmed by Boof, and quoted in the New York Post article.

At that point, she spread her arms and sang the Star Spangled Banner just as she would at a subsequent Super Bowl. When she finished singing, she turned her back and walked out of the room.

It was downhill from there. Jihad was declared, buildings were destroyed, countries invaded and thousands of lives lost. Oddly enough, one survivor was Houston's husband, Bobby Brown whom Osama threatened to kill, according to Boof.

We can only imagine what would have happened, had Houston's decision gone the other way. When she returned to America, she wrote to a friend, "I could feel his love for me but the greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself …it is the greatest love of all"



I KNOW I KNOW MY BLOG IS LONG OVERDUE. . . .I THINK I MIGHT GET BACK INTO IT BUT SPORADICALLY!!

Love You Long Time

SO SORRY EVERYONE FOR A LACK OF AN UPDATE IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS!!!


I've been really busy trying to figure out my future, but now that most of that stuff is set in stone time to get back to old routines of updating this page.


On the bright side I have figured a way to embed video into my blogg so I will begin that shortly. As for the big news of the quarter, I am officially done with school (sorta). I registered as a full time student but I am taking 13 units Pass/No Pass. 11 of the units are film classes for my personal enjoyment and one for a minor I'm finishing off, and the other 2 units are for P.E. classes I am taking. Basically I am not getting a GPA for any of my classes.


So next year I will start working in San Francisco for a big company. My job starts in mid July so I will be in Davis for the first two weeks of summer after graduation, then it is off to SF. I really do like this city so much, but I guess my time here is almost done. This does imply that I may change the name of this blogg, to something more suitable for San Francisco.


Okay because there were a lot of things in the last two months I will post only a few of the many hundreds of images I have taken. And My First Attempt at A Video Post!!


As seen on Break.com


I Have No Idea if that worked???


Anyway okay lets get some images up:)


-MARK

Finals a Week Away!!

Briefly an Email I sent to writer Christopher Lin of the Stanford Daily in response to his article:

Dear Christopher,

As a 4th year student at the University of California Davis, I found your article of the Greek System as a very ignorant opinion that exemplifies the reason why you are not in a Fraternity Organization. Clearly there are only two possibilities of why you wrote this article. The 1st possible reason is that you personally felt wronged by a Greek organization on your campus (they kicked you out of a party or simply did not want to include you in their organization) or Two you are simply jealous of Greek Organizations and their ability to add so much to your campus community or simply you are upset about the privileges these houses receive. Either way the fact is you have something out for the Greek System and your opinion expresses that arrogance. John Belushi is a character in a film, and you claiming that all fraternities are the same way is absolutely arrogant. Look at how much your campus gains from a Greek System, from famous alumni to millions and millions of private donations and scholarship funds from fraternity alumni. UCDavis has halls and dorms named after important members of the Davis community many of whom were also members of the Greek system, I'm sure Stanford has the same. Greek involvement motivates campus unity through the positions Greeks hold in student government and on campus jobs. Many of the Stanford athletes (who got their asses handed to them by UCD in Football and Basketball) are in the Greek System. I'm sure many of the professors were as well. Famous names from the Daily shows John Stewart to Wolf Blitzer were members of a Greek System that probably instilled in them the characteristics they portray in the media. Are you addicted to facebook? It was created by fraternity guy, Mark Zuckerberg! Look around your campus, the fraternities and sororities create leaders among the student body that will forever be valuable assets to the university. If you can't cut it or feel jealous then get involved otherwise your comments and articles will continue to reflect your ignorance on the subject. You should not go around stereotyping fraternities as one in the same or referring to some as THERAPISTS which I'm sure that specific house is angry at you already. A Greek system creates leadership as well as a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment, and creating self esteem by being recognized as a part of a national organization. Fraternities love to party, you are right about that, however did you ever think that its probably cheaper for an organization to put together a party than simply you and your two roommates to set one up? It's cost effective and a lot of times Greek Involvement leads to jobs after college with stronger alumni relations. A Fraternity is a way to get involved, get connected, give back, and to gain the best experience from your 4-5 years in college. You should be very careful when saying something that puts a Greek system down especially at such an old and cherished university like Stanford. Good luck with your future writing endeavored and I hope you got something from my email.

Sincerely,
Mark Klebanov
UCDavis Class of 2006





A LETTER TO THE EDITOR I DID NOT SEND THE AGGIE:

AS a senior here at UCD the outcome of this recent election has little to no significance to me, and yet I voted. I voted for the students without a voice who prefer to watch the "O.C." And go out to “Woodstock’s” for a beer and pizza, rather than seeing their next few years make a difference. Constantly on this campus I run into freshman and sophomores who have no understand of what ASUCD is or does. My question is why has ASUCD failed to really motivate or "empower" students to come out and vote? Is it because of the poorly run CO3? Or maybe the previous leaderships failure to really promote the ideas of the student body? Or possibly the fact that students only hear bad things in the aggie written about ASUCD? A lot of what ASUCD does goes unnoticed, I mean how many of the students who use the MU computer lab realize that those state-of-the-art staplers were brought to them by ASUCD and one of the most influential senators to ever be seated, Rob Roy? Why you might ask (but probably not), is due to the fact that the ASUCD image promotes bipartisan views that disenfranchise the student body. ASUCD should look into why students vote, except that generally they are too busy to do anything really effective about it because all their time is spent trying to get others elected with them. I’ll give it to LEAD they ran quite an intrusive marketing campaign that pushed eligible voters away from the polls. As a student body I hope that LEAD continues its dominance to a point that the student body will look and say “wow we really screwed ourselves” that might be the only way for them to come out to the polls. LEAD did win the majority of the less than 20% who voted. As legislation passes that continuously wastes the $9.7 million ASUCD has to work with, from the student’s pockets to programs that make no difference in your daily life. The only way to increase participation in ASUCD is to eliminate the two-party system and get real experienced independents to bring a critical view to ASUCD’s practices. The student body needs “get outreached”, but realistically speaking the only way to get more students out there to voice their opinion and get involved is to make ASUCD relevant to them. Until that happens UCD enjoy your Sudoku and continue drinking that Coho coffee, cause those are the things that really matter, but ASUCD doesn't! Right?

-Mark Klebanov, Managerial Econ, Former Commissioner Business and Finance

So yes I have had a little bit of extra time on my hands to write some interesting responses. I think it is always imperative that we as individuals can find ways to vent our opinions in a forum such as a blogg. Thank you Al Gore for inventing the internet so that their is a place for my thoughts and images.

Okay supcomings upcomming week I have twoTuesday on tuesday twoFridays on friday and one the following Tuesday, then it is time for me to be back in LA for Spring Break, maybe hit up the beach or possibly Rosarita, Mexico. I'll just let it all flow. On my next update I will have images from our formal on the Delta King so stay tuned. Currently Enjoy the images below, some are from my birthday and others are from Pi Fest '06.

On My Way to the Bars: Total Count on the Night

1 WiKi Wacky Woo

2 Absolute Martinis

1 Brain Tremor

1 Gin and Tonic

Equivalent to 9-12 shots!!!

Me and the Old Nova Dorm People at the Bars

Zak was in town randomly saw him at the Bar

Me and My Roomie, we've known each other almost 6 years

PI FEST '06

Only Got Hit Twice with Pi
I Couldn't believe this little Alpha Phi attempted to finishBakerSquareBakersquare Apple Pie!!!

Left Overs of the Pie Eating Contest before one of the girls puked!!
Diana is Hardcore She Won the Eating Contest and Proving Again why she is Greek Week Pizza Eating Champion.

ACTION SHOT OF JON GETTING PIED!!!

Its Neuriel and That Guy From MTV's Parental Control

The Judge's Doing Their Duty with the Sorority Pies

That's it For Today.

The Oscar's were great. And in the words of Host John Stewart "Martin Scorcese - 0 Oscars, 3 6 Mafia- 1!!!"

-Mark

This Week I Become 22

The Beauty of Israel. This last weekend while on a retreat to Los Angeles for some fraternity related convention, I finally got my paws on the pictures from my summer trip to Israel. The picture above is an image from the top of Masada prior to Sunrise, in the background you can even make out the lines of the Dead Sea. It was an amazing trip that I recommend all to experience at some point. Okay now to an update. This next week is my birthday on which I officially turn 22 years of age. The plan for that Tuesday would wishfully include the following:

1. A dinner at Hooters
2. A lot of presents
3. Potentially getting to a strip club
4. Getting Drunk
5. Having the best birthday ever

However my Tuesday is going to look realistically something like this:

1. Reading 200+ pages for a CMN 140 Midterm on Wednesday
2. Getting Information and Researching before my Wednesday Interview with Lockheed-Martin
3. Meeting with a Professor about a Thursday presentation in ARE 132
4. Getting to bed early so I can wake up in time for my midterm

So far my birthday looks really busy but not in good way at all . . . I really need a study break or a way to relieve all the stress.

Hopefully I can make it through the week.

Other stuff going on . . . I have three interviews this week with different companies for jobs when I graduate. Its a good thing and a bad thing. I like the fact that I am doing interviews earlier than most of my friends, but I am thinking that this is potentially the next few years of my life and the fun of college will be gone. Either way I am going through with it so wish me luck.

MY 2 CENTS:

As for my observations of the recent results of the ASUCD Elections. My candidate did not win, the students I guess just didn't think he was the right man for the job. But is this not necessarily true. Only 2,700 of 16,000 eligible students voted that is a disgusting number. The same presidential election last year had 3,800 students vote. How is it that less than 25% of the electorate actually votes in these elections. The outcomes to these elections are imperative to the money that every student pays to attend UCD. The fact that there was such a small turnout upsets me in a way not because my friend did not win, but rather that the student body does not understand that their failure to be involved in the election process is equivalent to spending $500 on a car you never use or drive.

The fact is this only exemplifies the problems with society. The only individuals who cared to vote fall into three categories:

1. Those who support Yellow
2. Those who support Red
3. And those who support Red blindly because of physical rather than intellectual reasons.

The point I'm trying to make is that those voters who fall in the middle are disenfranchised by the system that has struggled to put forth any good candidates who can get the students to rally behind them. The last time I remember a senator having such an impact is Rob Roy, the independent candidate who got support from every group, he actually was one if not the only senator to fulfill many of his campaign promises. The senators who ran this quarter were selected because of a popularity contest not because of their experience or ability to perform. This will be seen throughout the political process as items are passed that wastefully allocate funds to programs with little to no affect on the students who are fully paying for it. Just wait the students of UCD's failure to vote will directly cause the decrease in their coffers and the services that they will receive. Great job to the 85% of the campus who are digging a huge grave for themselves, I hope you enjoy next year as prices go up and you lose your access to more services. Fiscal Responsibility is the most important issue as fees continue to go up for tuition, and the student body's failure to vote will continue to compound this issue. What we need is a candidate who will break all the rules and engage the student body to come out and vote. To take a break from the Aggie's comics/crossword/sodoku to open up the opinion section and read about the campus that we create. ASUCD must become more open to ASUCD but this year's elections will only act as another buffer between the students and their non-majority elected officials.

BRAVO ASUCD ON YET AGAIN FAILING THE STUDENTS!!!

If two guys in my fraternity ran for ASUCD you would immediately see a change in the system. I would even guess that money would go back into the pockets of students. I hope for the sake of the freshman class they see this failure of ASUCD and learn from it that a two party system does not work, it only acts as a horrendous marketing tool to get cronies elected. If you don't believe me look at the breakdown of the Senate table and compare that with the entire student body, you'll see huge problems. GOOD LUCK UCD you are gonna need it!!!

Well enjoy the pictures below, most are from LA this last weekend. And way to go on Arrowjam, my fraternity may have been robbed, but we definitely had a blast.

The Guys

Arrowjam

Supposedly This is a PornStar

That's her before, riding a guy on the bus

That's Us On The Bus

Neuriel at Arrowjam Practice

Our Coach Jessica Shaking Her Thang

Thanks again for Tuning In!!!

-Mark

DAMN!!!

Okay I Know I Know I've kept everyone in suspense. Well I was in LA for Western Regional Conclave for AEPi (Feb. 17-19) and I've got a bunch of stories to tell, but I'm gonna save those for when I actually upload those images. As for the weeks since my last post a few new developments are in the air.

First of All AEPi Davis is going to be hosting the first ever Pie Fest event where sororities compete in all things pie; Relay, Eating, Throwing, and Baking. Should be a great time and as of right now I am the Kappa Alpha Theta coach, even though apparently they won't be competing. . . . Less work for me I guess. Either way the flier for this event is everywhere including at the bottom of this update.

Secondly, It has come to my attention that I will be graduating very soon and am now focusing on finding a job, so far two companies are interested and I have already interviewed with one of them, a large Re-Insurance Co. Sounds like a fantastic opportunity which will require me to move to either Philadelphia, New York, or my last choice Minneapolis. The other company I have an interview this week with is a computer based firm in Fremont (Bay Area) also sounds like a good opportunity as well.

Valentine's Day was a week ago and boy so many women out looking desperate at parties wearing almost nothing, but I don't mind. I went out with some of my roomies and frat bros and we had a really good time at people's parties, even though I missed out on my last Tahoe Retreat Davis was a good time.

Superbowl Sunday was a hectic week, 2 exchanges in 7 days and an alumni Sunday event chuck full of XX Beer and Papa Johns. Thanks to the amazing assortment of alumni who came out to show their support. It was a success.

This last weekend AEPi also participated in ArrowJam which was our second time and we did real good some individuals in sororities believed we should have gotten third because I guess we were that good. The video Link will be up soon so you can see our performance.

My B-day is next week and hopefully it will be a success, except for the fact I have shit to do the day before and the day after my b-day which doesn't make for a stress free night. I'm thinking of just having a blast with friends who'll buy me drinks.

Well this update is about over . . . The next one will have arrowjam and conclave pictures.


V-DAY


THAT IS . . . .


I Love LEAD Too . . .


Raver Exchange


Alumni V. Active Football


Random Night on the Town . . . She wants me!!

PI FEST '06

1st Two Weeks of Winter Quarter

Well Well Well . . . .

So time for another update.

AGAIN STILL LOOKING FOR A JOB!!

Now well two weeks into the quarter and now the tests begin, but don't fret tests should not make you fearful they should make you look forward to finally graduating and never having to take another test on anthropological societies of the Antartic, or on the standard deviation of a lab test on mammalian kangaroo pouches. But those of you going to grad school right after good luck with another 2-4 years of tests and incoherent research.

The drinking however has not stopped. Every night there is something to do in Davis: Monday is Kar-Re-Ok-Ee at G Street, Tuesday is Duke's, Wednesday is Dollar Pint Night at Sudwerks, Thursday is Little Prague and Sogas, and the weekend is as always, the weekend.

Cocktail was a real good time and I want to thank my last minute Date Gaby for being a spectacular date and making out with that other girl, you know who you are. . .

The pictures below are from Cocktail and a night on the town . .

Found this on a Image Google Search



Gaby and Andrea



Gaby and I




Pre-Game Tailgating at my place, btw we beat Cal Poly, AGAIN . . .

Gerber and Klebanov at Prague

Lily (Sigmachi Sweetheart) and Mark (AEPi Semetic Stallion Award Winner)

Thanks to Lily for Coming out to the bars maybe next time you'll finish that Irish Car Bomb that I violently and forcefully excreted from my stomach when I got home that night . . . WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!

Until Next Week!!!

FABRINK!!!

Mark